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Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders Will Save Post Office With Booze License

on 16/11/13 at 11:45 am

Booze News

A965535CD9522A4CBA0BFE159873AD98_20100410013521_320_240Even if you’re a full-on socialist like Bernie Sanders (or our beloved and esteemed Editrix, may she live a thousand years), there’s a good chance you think the US Post Office is hemorrhaging money. But that’s because you’re not as awesome as Bernie Sanders, who sent us a nice email this afternoon about the Post Office that didn’t even make us pass out from boredom. Part of it said:

“During the last 12 months, the Postal Service made a profit of $600 million picking up and delivering mail and packages to every household and business in America.”

It turns out the Post Office only loses money because “Unlike any other public or private entity, under a 2006 law, the U.S. Postal Service must pre-fund retiree health benefits.” And this is SNORE DROOL COMA anyway Bernie Sanders is going to fix everything, by repealing that crap and letting the Post Office ship booze all over the place, like they do now, except it’ll be legal! What’s the plan, Comrade Sanders?

“It’s time to end this outrageous pre-funding requirement once and for all.  My legislation would also give the Postal Service the tools it needs to succeed in the 21st century by allowing it to offer new products and services on the internet, ship wine and beer, and issue hunting and fishing licenses,” Sanders said.