Todd English Trifecta Forms Perfect Shitshow Wine List
on 21/08/11 at 3:50 pmWine
In the wake of yesterday’s chronicle of the unique TE brand of shitshow, I dug deep for answers to questions like: “How?”
I even began to wonder while surfing the Ça Va website whether or not Todd’s lifesize cameo on the homepage could actually be a portal into another universe, his eyes offering access to a cheerily sinister reality where clowns inevitably play a staring role. Or maybe he’s just a hologram?
The second question remains unanswered. Sadly, however, it turns out that beyond Todd’s face there’s just a boring, faux brasserie that could have opened now, or 10 years ago, and hopefully not 10 years from now. What I discovered while surfing the myriad of Todd English websites, though, is a fascinating trifecta of shitshow-worthy wine lists.
None of these lists really approach full shitshow status on their own, but each embodies a particular cardinal sin that, when all of their powers are combined, form the ultimate shitshow wine list. Let’s take a look.
CrossBar – Branding fail
CrossBar looks like a Medieval Times redesigned by Criss Angel with Persian accents (what?). It’s a “nose-to’tail,” pork-centric restaurant, which is this totally new concept. To accompany the whole magical Middle Ages theme, the wine list is organized into two sections: New Testament and Old Testament, which is a corny way of separating new and old world wines. Here it isn’t about price gouging or offensive wines.