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10 Best Ways To Not Get A Hangover

on 30/09/10 at 1:21 pm


by Boozenews intrepid reporter, D.R. Stewart

This site is called BoozeNews. My wife will attest to my ability to be dim, and it just occurred to me – hey, I might have to drink a bit on this job. So, for myself as a reminder, and as a service to my friends on the vast Google-machine, I submit these hard learned lessons.

1.  Don’t drink.

Riiight. Good luck on that, Drunkie!

2.  Have lots of sex before you go to sleep, and immediately upon awakening.

Doctors have proven this to be true. It was in a study somewhere. I’m just sayin’.

3.  Put a glass of water in between you and each yummy beverage.

The Irish do this for the all day pub stay. It works. And you’ll cry easier for the 2AM requisite rendition of “The Auld Triangle.”

4.  Drink on a 100 degree day. The alcohol doesn’t have a chance to stay in your body.

5.  Corollary – Dance the 80s pogo to any music being played. Again – there’s a study, you can google it.

6.  Grain alchohol. Don’t do it. And especially – don’t eat the fruit in the Harry Buffalo punch.  Each piece of fruit is like a triple shot. I love that the recipe includes a trash can. This should alert you to what lies ahead.

7.  The old 2&2. Two huge glasses of water and two aspirin before bed. I feel it has saved me many a time, but with the caveat – if you’re clear-thinking enough to remember this, maybe you’re not drunk enough to get a hangover. You will feel better from the aspirin, Aleve, etc. – but the science on it is that it’s incredibly damaging to your innards. Of course drinking to the level of excess required for a hangover is not good on your innards either.

8.  Greasy fast food to soak up the booze. If only a McDonald’s hash brown was offered all day. English tea food works well.

9.  Forgiven (formerly Buzz Off). Again – you have to be cogent enough to take before slumber. Created by Paul Benveniste and Sharon Sacks of Polycil Health this is one of the many hangover remedies on the market. It’s cool that Paul and Sharon hand it out at parties by the bagful. It’s cooler that next morning I’m good-to-go. The main ingredients in their concoction are organic acids which convert the toxins to amino acids. Toxins – as in the word in-toxi-cated.  They have sold this product to Forgiven Bottling Group. They’re the guys who brought alkaline water with a – ORP to the world. Of course. Unless you are friends with Paul and Sharon, you, however, will have to wait to be Forgiven. It’s a week from being released at selected 7-11s and Terrible Herbst (southwest convenience store chain). National release to follow.

10.  Shochu. It’s eclipsed Saki as the no. 1 drink in Japan. So, Suck it Saki! It’s got an enzyme that dissolves blod clots!  It’s less caloric than Vodka! Sadly, it’s less alcoholic than Vodka, too. Maybe that’s why it doesn’t give you a hangover. Or it could be its use in ritual (funerals) and religious ceremonies in Japan. Checked out some HAAMONII SHOCHU last night at The Bar Room on Cañon drive in the Hills of Beverly. I’m not gonna lie – straight Shochu – slightly medicinal to me.  Bactine for the open wound. But, others around me disagreed and I was chastised. Again. We were treated to French Kiss, Lavender Lemonade, Tokyo Tea, and Raspberry Martini cocktails using both the lemon flavored and neutral Haamonii. Mixed in, much better. I vote “yay!” for the tartest of the quartet (Lavender Lemonade) –  predictably I’m a sucker for tarts.


This copyrighted broadcast is the property of the National Football League. Any rebroadcast or reproduction without the consent of the NFL is strictly prohibited. Oh, and any alcohol advice given herein is anecdotal and not necessarily the antidote for all that ails.

Hangover Music …if you can stand it.

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